Why a dream is often just a dream? How we prevent ourselves from fulfilling our desires

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From time to time we get tired of being in touch with reality, of analyzing, estimating and making decisions based on well-founded reasoning. Or sometimes, some of us never do it and we don’t even like it. It exhausts us. We tend to believe that our intuition and feeling are the best indicators that lead us in the right direction. We are excited about this idea and we like to live in the imaginary, in the magical world. Children do this most often, because their cognitive system is still underdeveloped and what works in their case is the magical thinking.

But a dream without a plan remains just a dream, even though we believe in magic. Planning means looking at reality, determining what is possible and what is not, defining concretely what you want and what steps you have to follow to get there. Then, beyond planning, it means taking action – which for many of us is the biggest challenge. We often prefer to lie ourselves with mantras like “everything comes at the right time”, “nothing is by accident”, “it’s important to believe and it will happen”.

All these beliefs limit us implicitly; they keep us captive in the childish role, which awaits miracles, magic. When you wonder why some things don’t happen to you, or how your dreams don’t come true, ask yourself if you still believe in Santa Claus, figuratively, obviously. If you are among those who believe that things are simply happening and it is enough to believe, then you lose the most important actor in the equation: you. This is also a form of disclaimer. Let’s be honest! It is much easier to leave everything to chance, destiny, to believe you have no control over the course of events.

We look for excuses to justify why your dreams are not coming true or what is preventing us from doing something to achieve them. Our life is full of events: some are routines, some unforeseen and we can often feel overwhelmed! The little things, the daily routine really takes over. We have so much to manage and we don’t seem to find time to analyze, to plan, to see what is essential and what really fulfills us. We often feel that it is urgent and imperative to deal with these small things without realizing what our priorities are, what is important to us in the medium and long term. It is difficult for us to discern between important things and urgent things. And often the most common excuse is the lack of time. We have the impression that we only lack the necessary time but we forget that each of us has 24 hours a day, being responsible for the way he spends this time.

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I admit that I am often overwhelmed by all these little things, which appear necessary, immediate, urgent but for which I do not see the value of in my life. This often makes me feel frustrated, because I wish that instead of spending time putting things in order and fulfilling my daily routine, I could work on something great, something that would bring meaning to my life. At the same time, we need to be aware that the daily hassle is inherent. What we can do is somehow optimize it, so that it is easier for us to identify free time to build what we really want. So, we need structure and a plan. No matter how dull it may seem, no matter how much we reject it and no matter how much we want spontaneity, novelty and freedom, without having a plan, everything we want remains at the stage of desire, dream. It does not take shape in our minds and much less in reality.

A plan helps us to have a landmark. At the same time, it helps us to see what we plan to do, to prioritize and say “No” to other tasks, requests, opportunities perhaps, but to avoid crowding ourselves with all other kinds of actions and duties. It is perhaps the hardest thing we have to do – to keep our focus, our direction and to say “No”, to set some limits. It will obviously involve giving up a lot, but we will know that at the same time we are following our path, that we are taking steps towards our dream that is now gaining momentum.


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