These days everybody speaks abut gratitude and how it can better our lives, bring more meaning and make us happier. It is very important to be aware of the good things that are happening into your life, from the fact that you are healthy you have so many rights, chances, opportunities. Somehow the gratitude is overrated and we might risk to make a confusion, especially when we are in difficult and toxic contexts. Don’t lie to yourself. It’s not necessary and it will hurt in the long run. When there’s a toxic situation (that’s obvious), you can take responsibility just by knowing it, by confronting it. Want the truth? It hurts sometimes, but it’s just not worth the pain.

If you want to change something, start with that: tell the truth about it, to someone. It’s amazing how often we lie to ourselves just to get through the day or to handle some situations, Maybe you’re trying to convince yourself that she/he is the woman/man of you life even though the behavior says something different, or maybe you are convincing yourself that ypu are OK in terms of health and you are ignoring the signs of you body. If a relationship is toxic, you would rather think that you are not good enough, that something is wrong with you and not necessarily with that relationship. But if a relationship is toxic, you have to leave.

Don’t stay because you think you can change or fix the other person. Don’t stay because you fear being alone and you think you could be the savior for someone that has a mental disorder or simply doesn’t want to change. And don’t stay because everything is great, but you’re afraid of what will happen if you leave. What will happen is, in all likelihood, better than what is happening now, even though you cannot imagine any better scenario in your life. Living along with a toxic person, giving up to your dreams and ideals, being underestimated always, is surely a trauma for all the human beings.

Very often people that live in such conditions are not able to see beyond the trauma they are suffering. The mind is trying to find mechanisms for easing the way they are perceiving the reality and denial is the most usual one. Being grateful, doesn’t mean to be in denial of the reality as it is, in order to survive and to cope emotionally with a toxic life. It is difficult to overpass denial, to face the reality and basically to assume the responsibility for your life. At some point in time, all the self-help books and advices that come from friends, so-called specialists or counselors, are not valuable at all.

You need to assume the courage for your life, to recognize in front of yourself that you don’t have anything you should be grateful for. The only thing to be grateful for is your life and the willingness and capability to see new horizons and to fight for your dreams – might these be to leave a toxic relationship and to build a new Universe for yourself. Sometimes this means to restart from scratch and not to be afraid that it is impossible, irrespective of your social status, your age or your education. You can always build a better life for yourself if you move the focus on You instead of the others and have the power to see the reality without any filter.